“The Older You Get, The Younger You Want Them”: 79 Things People Heard And Prayed Were A Joke

Jason Sargent Sunday, April 5, 2026

Rokas LaurinavičiusSat, April 4, 2026 at 10:01 PM UTC

People don’t always tell the truth. We exaggerate, ironize, and even lie, so over time, we develop a “radar” that helps us detect when something feels off. But it’s not one hundred percent effective.

Redditor Holiday-Surround7075 asked others to share the times they heard something so unbelievable, they assumed it had to be a joke... only to realize the person was being completely serious. From wild animals at work to odd personal beliefs, these stories show just how unpredictable everyday life can be.

A couple of months ago I was coming back home from work and there was a massive traffic jam, which is not uncommon. On the exit from the highway cars were in a standstill as far as the eye could see. I was on a bike so I started weaving through them and I pass a car and it starts honking erratically and trying to move to the front. I didn't think much of it, either some [jerk] thinking his time is more important than ours or an emergency. Can't know so I don't make assumptions. But I look back and I realise that the guy is honking and yelling at me specifically. Before I can even understand what he's saying a guy jumps out of the passenger seat, with his arm wrapped in his shirt with blood everywhere, clearly in work clothes from construction or something simillar, and he tells me that his hand has literally been cut off and he needs to get to the hospital fast and the car's stuck in traffic so he wanted me to give him a ride. I was honestly in shock but I let him on and blasted off to the hospital. I even saw a cop on the way and gave him the quick rundown, hoping he'd go up front and open the way but the cop didn't care that much he just said "just go, run a red if you have to". Well I did get him to the hospital and I did run a couple of red lights, after checking of course. Didn't even get his name or learn what happened afterwards. I hope he got to keep his hand.

A lot of these are pretty dark.My first thought was just the time when a coworker ran up to me in the hall and said, "hey, you wanna see a live baby possum?" and I obviously said yeah, and then she did indeed show me a live baby possum sleeping in her sweater pocket.

I once had a flat earther insist to me, an Australian, that Australia wasn’t a real place and all “Australians” were paid actors. It was all some big conspiracy to hide the fact the earth is flat apparently. He was otherwise a smart and personable guy, but 100% believed I was an actor being paid to pretend Australia was real. I walked away and left him to it.

Worked with this woman who was super messy, but really sweet and fun to work with she found out her husband was cheating on her and said that she “was going to light his truck on fire like Angela Bassett in Waiting to Exhale.” We all laughed not thinking she was actually serious and was just saying that in the heat at the moment. Well……. I wake up the next day to a text from her sister saying that she got arrested for lighting his truck on fire and she loaded it up with all of his belongings before she did it. She had zero regrets.

My coworker told me he doesn’t believe in dinosaurs…because ‘no one was there to see them.’He believes in dragons though, because ‘every culture has them.’

I used to lead a fitness group and had a lady tell me she couldn’t work out with me anymore because she was allergic to exercise…it was making her face all red and she was sweaty and breathing hard.I laughed because I thought she was joking. She was not.

I used to sell cars. I had a guest who we got as far as the pencil and saw the price and said “I don’t believe in taxes. Can you take them off?”I laughed and thought it was a joke. But they were very serious and didn’t think it was at all funny. Myself and my manager had to explain that we’re legally required to collect sales tax and couldn’t just “take it off.” They ended up deciding not to buy.

Was working in a manufacturing facility when one of the transformers blew up rendering the presses useless for the time being. When the maintenance guys made the announcement, one lady said "those aren't real" to which everyone laughed. What a genius comeback, except she was serious. She said transformers aren't real. As in autobots and deceptions.

I have a relative who lives in Texas. He told me all the people in Utah are robots. I'm thinking metaphorical robots who march into work, wear white shirts, etc. Nope. He meant literal robots.

#10

I was catching up with an ex I hadn't seen in a while, and without any provocation, she said, "Michelle Obama was born a biological man, and her children were adopted." I wrapped up that conversation as quickly as possible and skedaddled on down the road.

#11

I was awoken in the middle of the night by huge, loud banging on my door. My then boyfriend at the time huddled with me to the door as we investigated, only to see my dad and uncle stumbling around in the front yard. I go out there to yell at them for scaring the [hell] out of us until I jump back to see a large animal, way bigger than my dad or uncle, right next to them. It’s a donkey, a burro, not more than a few months old, now tied to the palm tree in front of my house. I ask what’s happening and my dad shushes me and tells me I need to watch it. I laughed at first, but when I saw the water bowl they brought along for it, I was confused of why I was babysitting a donkey, but my uncle begs me to take care of Butter, which I learn is the name of the donkey. I ask where they got a donkey drunk at three in the morning but my dad reiterates not to ask questions, and to take care of Butter. I protest but they leave, where it’s several hours until two girls knock on the door asks to remove Butter, and takes it away. I found out later that my uncle worked at some animal sanctuary, where Butter’s mom unfortunately passed away. They were going to send Butter to another state to be with other orphaned donkeys, but my uncle, being so in love with Butter, stole him with the intentions on hiding it at my house until they could get someone else to take it. Butter now lives on a farm where my uncle can visit him weekly, and I get to tell people I was unintentionally involved in donkey theft. Good times.

#12

My college roommate told me he was technically a prince in some small country. I laughed for like ten minutes. Dude pulled out actual diplomatic documents. I'd been splitting rent with royalty and making him do dishes.

#13

When my sister's partner looked to me after talking about some space science stuff and said: "You don't believe in NASA do you?"And than I proceeded to have the wildest conversation of my life where I learned he's a flat-earther and began explaining the whole thing to me, from go pros and plane windows make the horizon look curved to Antartica is actually an ice wall, and doesn't exist, to the map the UN uses in their logo is the real map of earth.I was blown away and could not believe I had a 3 hour conversation with a real person about the earth being flat.Edit: want to be clear. I am NOT a flat earther. I am not sure if i made that clear or not. I am a very science-loving person who couldn't believe my smart sister was with a flat earther. It just blew my mind.

#14

Was taking blood from a patient. Very pleasant middle-aged man, telling me about his work (skilled craftsman). Once I’d finished taking blood the safety mechanism on the needle failed and I stuck myself with the needle I’d just used to bleed him. I told him it had happened and explained someone would need to come in and ask him some questions, take a couple extra samples as a result. He agreed.Then he said “With a bit of luck you’ve got some of my blood. I’ve figured out a cocktail that makes me immortal, so maybe you’re now immortal as well from my blood”.

#15

I told my ex-girlfriend a story about something that once happened to me. I was at a party, talking to a group of people. For some reason, one of the girls in the group brought up Africa and the “African Americans” there. I got really confused about what she meant, and then it turned out she thought all black people in the world were called African Americans. She then shamed me and called me racist for referring to people as “black”.My ex-girlfriend got really upset with me because she thought the same thing. At first, I was not sure whether she was trying to prank me, so I laughed it off. That only made it worse, because she was completely serious.

#16

I asked where the maternity section was in a dept store... they said it was SEASONAL. Like it's calving season.

#17

> A plane went into the World Trade Center.Thought the guy was talking about a video game until we turned on the news in class.

#18

One time in middle school a kid said his dad was a famous baseball player and gave his name. Even though he had the same last name as the player and it was somewhat uncommon, I didn’t really believe him. This kid was scrawny, didn’t really appear to be an athlete at all. Found out he was telling the truth a couple months later when he was on my little league team and his dad showed up at our first practice. Kid was a crazy good shortstop.

#19

My colleague said he wanted to quit his job and travel around the country for a year in an RV-type vehicle with his wife and four daughters, one of whom is a toddler, the others all being under 10. He didn't have the savings for it so he said they would "trade favors" with people along the way for money or food.I thought it was just a "distant dream"-type fantasy we were discussing but he actually quit his job last week to do it. I truly pity his kids. They should be in school having normal lives, but instead they're going to be dragged around away from home for a year, probably being filmed for social media clout on the daily.

#20

I had a coworker who was 100% convinced the covid vaccine had little tracking microchips, that 5G was the cause of COVID, and was a flat Earther. He argued with our boss, who was retired airforce, that what he experienced wasnt real and that hes been successfully brainwashed and no longer had free will.He was 22 at the time.

#21

Babies are born flat and plump up when they start breathing air. The idea is funny enough on it's own, but the guy insisting it's true was over 30 and had two kids.

#22

Delivery driver to the store i worked at and was close with said "i ordered a Russian bride over the weekend" I laughed in his flipping face because I thought he was joking. He was not.

#23

Stepped into an art gallery to escape the pouring rain in Montreal. The gallerist looked up to greet me (us, I was with a boyfriend at the time) and reacted as if I was a ghost. He literally burst into tears and explained I looked exactly like the love of his life who’d [lost her life] in a traffic accident 30 years ago…. I was freshly 30. This man was so rattled that I couldn’t help but believe him. She’d been on a bike when hit by a truck. I hugged him, he was lovely. He gave me an umbrella, after a time, and we left. I think of him often.

#24

I helped with AV (and therefore frequently low-level tech related to the users in those rooms) at a large office in the city. I was called to a training style room with tiered rows and iMac's built into each station. There was a mid-40's or 50's professionally dressed lady who called me over in the middle of the presentation, pointed to her screen and said she wanted to "move that, to that".... I was confused so said "Are you talking about the file on the screen? You want to move that file into that folder?" and she said NO, "the thing, move that thing to there." There was a long pause as I tried to compute what she was asking, solid 20 seconds and I realized.... "Are you..... wanting to move the mouse pointer to click on and open that file?" There was a long pause, and I reached across her and picked up the mouse that was by her right hand, and patiently said "Well if you hold this mouse with your hand, you can move it to control the curser and..." and she said "I KNOW HOW TO USE A MOUSE" and then adjusted her body language away from me, clearly communicating I'd been 'dismissed'. This was in 2017.

#25

My husband when he told me he wanted a divorce. Totally thought he was joking. I went to visit my family with the kids and the night I returned he said that. Weird thing is, his family was over and he did it in front of everyone. So surreal, I just didn't believe it.

#26

When I was 18, me and my friends were practicing for a rap show with the guy who would be DJing (he was like 22). While we were taking a break, he casually mentioned that he was texting a 14 year old. We all were like “wth” and he just laughed and said “the older you get, the younger you want them, you’ll see”.I did not see.

#27

I went on a date with a guy who genuinely believed that all influential people are actually lizards. He had mentioned it when we were texting before the date and i thought he was joking. I mean, I'm familiar with the conspiracy but its so dumb i didn't think anyone could actually believe it. Yeah I was caught off guard when it turned out he wasn't being sarcastic and actually believed all that garbage.

#28

I had a coworker tell me she thought she was being scammed. I asked her to tell me about it. She said she met someone on Facebook and they were flirting a bit and that she needed to download an app to continue talking. She then proceeded to tell me about how they asked her to download another app and now he’s acting all weird asking about all her personal information… I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I told her she should have know it was a scam when they asked you to download an app, and in that moment I understood why scammers continue to send those messages and phone calls. People really are that stupid.

#29

Where do I start...1. When I was in college, a guy who lived on my floor was convinced that the USSR was going to invade the US and therefore, to help, he learned Russian and joined the NRA to learn how to shoot guns. He was seriously disappointed when USSR fell apart.2. Same college, I knew a girl named Agatha who was called "Saint Agatha" by everyone because she was not only not intimate with anyone, she felt that anything beyond shaking hands was going to send her to hell. After she graduated from college and moved to Florida, she [slept] with hundreds of men and women in course of a year.3. A few years back, a colleague kept telling me how Obama had crashed the US stock market. When I showed him the numbers from Yahoo finance app on my phone, he claimed that Yahoo was run by liberals and they were manipulating the data to show Obama in positive light.

#30

“I’m running for president.”

#31

When I was as working at a library someone asked if we still carried books. I thought they were joking, particularly because they had to pass multiple tables full of books to reach the desk and you could literally see almost all of our shelves from the front desk with the building's lay out, but they were serious. They thought everything were just blank display pieces and that we didn't actually carry books anymore.

#32

"Hey dude, can I borrow your car?""When? Can't I just drive you?""I mean, it's gonna be for a few months. I need to drive to (place that is an hour away) for this job I want."I guess he forgot that I have responsibilities, like work.

#33

A guy I was dating told me that there was no explanation for the Grand Canyon because aliens dug it. When I laughed and said "Well, the Colorado River had something to do with it.", he said "No way, have you ever been to the Grand Canyon? The river is tiny." I said "Must have been aliens".

#34

I was working at a small powersports dealership and found out like half of the staff genuinely believed in flat earth.

#35

A while back I was talking to this guy I barely knew and out of nowhere, he said he's saving up to buy a small island, so he can live there with my pet tiger. I literally laughed. I thought he was messing with me, like some kind of weird flex. He even pulled out his phone to show me a spreadsheet of tiger adoption costs and island listings.

#36

A coworker flat did not believe in the existence of atoms or molecules.

#37

“I don’t believe in seatbelts!”“I don’t believe in masks”.

#38

My ex said "I'm so smart I think I'm a god walking among men" I laughed because it was so ridiculous and random but he just stared at me. I asked if he was being serious and he confirmed it and continued an entire rant about how his IQ is so high it's impossible for him to be a regular man.. And unfortunately this wasn't a one time conversation.

#39

"Global warming isn't real because if you have ice in a glass of water and it melts, the water doesn't overflow."

#40

"Vaccines cause autism"I stared for so long, waiting for some sort of punchline. But no, she genuinely believed it and I had to tell her off for that lol 😭 girl I love working with you but what the hell haha.

#41

Was walking home with someone I got along with in *college* but didn't really know.He looks down the train tracks and laughs. "See, no curve."He was a flat earther.

#42

I'm from Scandinavia and while travelling in the US I met a lovely young lady who wanted to know if we still had Vikings in our country. Well yes and no - strictly speaking my ancestors were and by that logic I am in fact a Viking. But no, she was asking if we had Vikings like the US has first nationers. Dedicated areas for vikings to do uh viking stuff. Practice their culture and such.

#43

Underground rivers go up stream, they pick water on the sea and drop it at the top of the mountains.Senior manager at Blizzard entertainment.

#44

How 14 year old girls give off pheromones that are just almost impossible for men to resist 🤮🤮. He was shocked that I stopped being friends with him after this.

#45

My friends bf asked me during a trivia game, "If humans are mammals, why aren't we whales?" When I was explaining what a porpoise was. I was explaining that porpoise are mammals like humans and whales, elephants. I did feel bad after I said what? then started laughing but he.did.not.join.in. though an awkward attempt was made.

#46

When I was in High School, a homeless man got on the city bus, sat across from me then proceeded to slap my leg and ask me enthusiastically "What's it like to be a vampire?!" lol I think I responded with "I could bite you and you can find out for yourself?" he kinda leaned away from me. The bus driver saw this and kicked him off the bus. He stood up, started screeching like a pterodactyl and ran out the back doors, off the bus into the dark lmfao! It was an interesting interaction lol!!!!!

#47

A woman stranger approached me in a supermarket, pointed to her temple and very seriously said, “Think about this - there’s an IF in life!” and then walked away.

#48

A girl told me she didn't believe in adoption.Not didn't agree with. Believe in. I'm adopted, proof in the convo! What's not to believe in?!

#49

A couple months ago, I was sitting at the bar enjoying my shift drink, and this real cop-lookin dude walks in and sits next to me. Over the course of our very bizarre conversation, he said that all world governments are secretly controlled by a cabal of 7 families, and also that he was in a militia.

#50

I don't believe in space.

#51

A woman once told me hospitals were full of fake doctors but she wasn’t worried because she has magic crystals that will heal her dad’s cancer.

#52

"I'm done letting you intimidate me with your college education." She's MAGA and didn't like that I used facts to argue. I used many a fact to dispute her in the past and she finally reached a breaking point. Also, my degree is math related..."Just because you know how to articulate your argument doesn't mean you get to win". Someone on the internet didn't like that I knew how to refute their points, and this was many points were refuted.

#53

A close family member told me that Alex Jones is really a sweet "teddy bear" and that he is being treated unfairly. This was the same week that he admitted under oath that he was lying about the Sandy Hook shooting being a hoax and apologized to some of the parents. I thought this person was being sarcastic. But no. Now I doubt this person's judgement on everything.

#54

Was leaving work with a coworker on a beautiful sunny october day. commented on it to her and she answered “eh, i guess. but you know we’ve never seen our real sun, right?”she was nuts. she also said on separate occasions that hurricanes helene and milton was staged by the government and i was only bisexual because i played in the rain too much as a kid. weather was a big thing for her i guess.

#55

A friend was looking for somewhere to live. I offered a spare room for minimal rent. They thought they would own part of the property.

#56

"'Round here, we just call it Monday."He was referring to Martin Luther King day. I had only been in Florida for a couple of months by that time.

#57

I simply could not believe the Facebook medical advice during COVID.

#58

Was waiting at a plumbing supply store when a man walked in and started talking to me. He began telling me that him and his wife went to a funeral over the weekend of a 28 years old mother who just up and [passed away] from super cancer because she took the covid Vaccine. I assumed it was joke only because who starts a conversation like that? I was wrong in my assumptions unfortunately. Maybe introduce yourself or talk about the weather?

#59

My ex wife put fish sticks in one of her exs curtains fold. The smell got so bad he had to move out. Lost his entire deposit. I thought she was making it up, but her sister confirmed. Same woman also asked me if “the moon was the biggest planet in the galaxy, because it’s so big”.

#60

That they don’t clean up their cat puke. They always let their dog eat it, and when the dog got too old and blind and deaf to hear the cats puke, they’d lead the dog to the pile so it would eat it.

#61

I was once standing in line at the supermarket, when a woman very blatantly cut in line and stepped right in front of me. She then turned around, looked at me, and said, “Oh, you don’t have that many items. You can just go ahead of me.” - Oh wow thanks, you absolute psychopath.

#62

An old coworker told me Obama was the antichrist. I thought she just didn't like him and was being hyperbolic. Nope, she was being completely literal about it.

#63

Working a Govt IT/Comms project here in Australia.A rate drop was about to be announced.The kid in his late 20s who ran the project in my state (what kind in their 20s becomes a state manager???) says to us:If our staff and contractors aren't willing to accept the new lower pay and TOW (ticket of work) rates, there are 1 billion people in India lining up.That was in the early 2010s.Here we are.

#64

When someone in a history lesson asked if the Viet Cong thought it was racist that they were considered "gorilla" fighters.Guerrilla.You know when you laugh at something you shouldn't, and then if you try to say sorry you'd look like a really sarcastic [jerk]? It was one of those.Should also say this wasn't like early on learning about Vietnam, this was a revision lesson about a month off from the exam.

#65

I was interviewing someone for a VP position in our company... someone that would have reported to me in a field that is generally very well-represented by intelligent, educated women. With me were, in fact, two women (working in this field) and our GM.Normally I despise standard HR questions but, for fun, I asked the candidate the usual "what was one of your challenges... blah blah". The next thing I know, he's telling me about the time he had to "correct his wife" but "not too much" and "she always understands my point of view eventually". I'm sorry to say that after confirming with my team after the interview ... yeah, he was talking about physically correcting her. Candidate did not get the job.

#66

I was at work the day after my now ex husband was rather publicly arrested. I worked in a customer facing job where I saw exactly the same people daily. I had someone come through when there were no other customers and asked me if I’d “heard about what happened in town yesterday.” Much as I didn’t have the patience to deal with stupidity I usually just rolled my eyes on, I decided I’d see where this particular conversation went. Well, she apparently knew who I was but not who I *actually* was. Apparently, I was sitting in the county jail (on the other side of the county), I’d been forced to trick my husband into coming home (we weren’t living together at the time and hadn’t for eight months. We weren’t even living in the same town), and my kids were in the care of CPS (they were at my home with my cousin at that moment.) So I asked if she was sure that was what happened. Yes, she was. Was she positive it happened? Absolutely. Certain? Completely. At that point, I’d already cashed her out and given her her change so I didn’t care if she looked like an idiot. “I’m the wife, I was at work right here when it all went down, I’m obviously not sitting in jail, and right now both my kids are at home with my cousin.” And just stared at her. She went white and scurried away. I didn’t see her at lunch for quite a bit so I don’t know if she started bringing her own or had someone pick it up. I like to use this as an example about why not to gossip about someone you don’t actually know. It’s really fascinating to hear a wildly exaggerated story about you, being told to you, by a person who doesn’t know you., though.

#67

In the Marines a new guy to the unit told us he liked to watch his wife with other men. He really was not kidding.

#68

“We don’t teach our daughter to share. Her things are hers why should she have to share?”Talking about a three year old.

#69

I had to do community service for a school project in high school. I ended up doing it at a charity ran by multiple different faith churches that give furniture, and clothes to the needy for free.It was during winter, and there was a lot of ice surrounding the building. The guy who ran the warehouse told me, and another guy to go get more sand from the dump because they ran out. While i was there for a school project, it was mainly adults doing court ordered community service for whatever crimes they committed. The guy who i got paired with was an alcoholic that got a dui, and i could tell he wasn't all there. Didn't stop me from getting in a car with him against my better judgment though lol. On the way to the dump, he started talking about a conspiracy he believed. The gist was basically our state government is hiding the fact that mountain lions exist in our state. He kept saying that the government was hiding their existence, and covering up mountain lion attacks. I don't know why it mattered tbh, and why would the government hide it? It was one of the most insane things I've ever heard.

#70

That the moon was conscious. I ended the conversation.

#71

We were hiking in Lands End, San Francisco. One guy, late 50s, visiting from South California suddenly asked he group: - What's that big red structure over there? - Which one? - There, those two large reddish towers. - Ahah, good one Bob. - (Annoyed) No, I'm serious, what are they? - ... That's the Golden Gate Bridge, Bob.

#72

I once came to my workingplace on a Monday at 7 o'clock and a colleague said: "Life is good"He actually meant it.

#73

When I lived in the US, I had a co-worker ask me to speak my native language (I'm Canadian) so I used a little bit of French assuming she wanted to hear the other official language. She spent 3 days telling me to stop joking around and speak my native language. I finally asked what she thought my native language was, fully expecting her to name a First Nation dialect. She confidently informed me that the true language of Canada is Latin. I laughed thinking it was a joke, but no, she was somehow 100% certain Latin is what ppl spoke in Canada.

#74

Gonverment causes earthquakes for money or something like that.

#75

Back in the day, I saw a guy open in a local punk show. His whole shtick was rapping over a boombox tape mix about how much he hated Gene Hackman. "Gene Hackman's a hack, man. I'm gonna Hack that Man to pieces, etc." At the after party, I quickly realized that it wasn't a genius bit of performance art, but just a mentally unstable guy.

#76

Well, not sure if I didn't believe him, but I was in a mental hospital a year after getting off the streets where I was doing a ton of 4 dimensional math and there was this guy there who said he put his arm under a train to get SSD and retire in South America. I mean, he didn't have a left arm, so there was some evidence.

#77

I had a guy tell me oil is still being made. Like crude from plants buried before fungus and bacteria developed to eat them. He thinks fossil fuels are renewable and being made inside the earth.

#78

I had a patient in my ambulance one day that told me that half of mental illnesses was actual demonic possession and the cure was prayer, but that if the person praying didn't have "true faith" then it wouldn't work. Later that night I had a young woman with no prior history that had shut down after a severe manic episode. She didn't respond to any attempts to communicate and just stared through you. She was sitting on the stretcher and I sat in the seat behind her doing paperwork. I don't know why but I started saying the Our Father. Halfway through she was flipped over facing me and said "They said don't do that."

#79

At a dog park in LA few years ago. It was night time and there was just me and a guy with his puppy. My dog was like 2. The two dogs were playing and the guy walked to the middle of the park and my dog ran into his leg. He said "you should be more careful with your dog. He's dangerous." I laughed because I figured he must be joking about two puppies playing and running into him while he stood in the middle of the park looking at his phone. He started getting more and more irritated. He said I was "lying." I basically just said he was being ridiculous. He started recording me and saying I was denying that my dog hurt him. I think he was trying to scam me somehow but I told him he was a stupid [jerk] and we left the park. Very bizarre interaction.

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Source: “AOL Entertainment”

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